


she is the lighthouse in the night

by alljustrunaways



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Early Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, this is a companion piece to addicted to your light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 20:22:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16604873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alljustrunaways/pseuds/alljustrunaways
Summary: The situation is no less grim, but the important distinction is that it’s manageable. His career that he’s worked so hard for is practically crumbling, especially if the Vulture stays and he’s on desk duty for the rest of his life, but it’s not destroying him as much as it should be. Not when he gets to wake up every morning to this.





	she is the lighthouse in the night

**Author's Note:**

> i got a request for a companion piece to addicted to your light that shows jake realizing he's in love with amy AND i've been rewatching season 3 and when my heart melted when jake tells gina amy's been trying to cheer him up and gave him a sticker for waking up so here u go friends enjoy a lot more of the dark/light theme bc it's really important to me ok
> 
> title from hearts don't break around here by ed sheeran (SUCH a jake/amy song)

The first thing Jake sees when he wakes up is dark, wavy hair. Instinctively, he buries his face closer and inhales the soft lavender scent he’s grown accustomed to smelling as soon as he wakes up. His arm curls tighter around the small figure in front of him, lightly grasping the material of his dark blue t-shirt in which Amy’s still sleeping soundly.

 

Glancing at the alarm clock, he realizes it’s nearly noon on a Tuesday. Not that he has any place to be, of course. He’s on his ninth day of a ten day suspension, and each day has felt longer than the last.

 

He must be starting to fidget due to the restless anxiety that’s been consuming him for days, because he feels the warmth fade as Amy stretches out her arms and turns to face him.

 

“Good morning, babe,” she says with her brightest smile. He also happens to know it’s her pity smile, typically employed when talking to victims. “How are you feeling?”

 

 _Awful_ , he thinks. Incapable of doing the one thing he’s truly good at because his boss is an idiot. Borderline depressed.

 

He doesn’t want her to know all that, but he’s also terrible at lying to her, so he goes with option C: avoiding the question.

 

“Shouldn’t you be at work? It’s Tuesday.”

 

She shakes her head, her hand coming up to stroke his hair, gently running her fingers through the messy curls. “I took a sick day. I have a ton of them saved up, and I needed a break from the Vulture. Also...I wanted to spend more time with you. You’re worrying me, Jake.”

 

Outside of work, she hasn’t left his side (therefore, his bed) since he was suspended over a week ago. She’s come to his apartment every night, bringing him food and watching his favourite movies and holding him until she has to go to work the next morning. Not only that, but she hasn’t reprimanded him or even questioned him for disobeying his superior, a major Santiago rule violation. She’s been supporting him unconditionally, and he still hasn’t found the words to thank her.

 

He sighs, leaning back against the pillow while she continues to play with his hair. “I’m fine. I just hate this.” He slides his hand up to rest on her waist, pulling her a bit closer. “I hate that he’s such a dick, I hate that he’s our freaking _boss,_ I hate that he doesn’t understand that I’m just trying to arrest a serial killer because he’s too much of an idiot to realize the facts are all right-“

 

He’s interrupted by warm lips against his, softly kissing him until his thoughts begin to desist and his breathing returns to a normal pace. He opens his eyes to look into her beautiful, deep brown ones, and his chest feels a little lighter.

 

“I know it sucks,” she says, her hand stroking his bicep now. “But it’s only one more day. And I’m sure he won’t be our captain forever. We’ll find a way to get Holt back eventually.”

 

Jake’s hand reaches to grab hers where it’s rests on his other arm, squeezing it tightly. He doesn’t really believe her, doesn’t see how things can ever go back to normal with Madeline Wuntch in control, but the reassuring tone of her voice is enough to soothe him, at least for the moment.

 

“Thanks, babe,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to her forehead. He shifts a bit and extends his arm so that she can curl up into his side. He holds her securely to him, sighing again when her arm wraps around him and her head settles into his chest.

 

The situation is no less grim, but the important distinction is that it’s _manageable_. His career that he’s worked so hard for is practically crumbling, especially if the Vulture stays and he’s on desk duty for the rest of his life, but it’s not destroying him as much as it should be. Not when he gets to wake up every morning to _this_.

 

In less than two months, a world without Amy has become unfathomable. All the fear and pain of his life before her has lessened substantially with every kiss, every touch, every shared glance across their desk at work or while curled up on the couch at night. Even in his darkest hour, there’s still a beacon of light in the form of the incredible woman that he’s fortunate enough to be able to call his girlfriend now.

 

He doesn’t know if there’s a name for this, but he’s pretty sure the closest he can get is love. The kind of love that makes him realize he’s never _really_ been in love before - not so soon, not so intensely, not like this.

 

When dark thoughts about work and the Vulture and Wuntch begin to creep into his brain again, all he has to do is focus on the way that Amy’s holding onto him like he’s her most treasured thing in the world (she’s certainly his) and the feeling that shoots through his body like a jolt of electricity every time she presses a light kiss on his jaw or neck or chest. For a moment, the thoughts disappear again.

 

“Maybe you should get out for a bit today,” Amy suggests quietly after a few minutes of wordless cuddling. “I was going to get some groceries for you.” She catches him opening his mouth to cut her off and beats him to it. “I know you haven’t been eating much, but you have to. If you don’t want to go to the store, will you at least meet Gina for a drink? She called last night after you fell asleep, she’s worried about you too.”

 

The thought of getting out of bed and facing the day is exhausting, but the thought of her spending another day worrying about him is worse. If anything, he owes it to her to try to persevere.

 

“Okay,” he says with discontent, thinly veiled behind a small smile. “Will you at least shower with me?”

 

Her eyes lighting up as he finally throws off the comforter and climbs out of bed reluctantly, she nods her head and strides over to grab his hand, leading him to the bathroom.

 

He has to admit, having sex in the shower with his stupid hot girlfriend does raise his spirits. To his dismay, the high fades when he has to change into real clothes instead of crawling back into bed with her, back to the only thing keeping him sane this week.

 

“You look great, babe,” Amy says, pulling him into a tight hug. “Have a good day. Call me if you need anything, okay? And I’ll be here when you get home.”

 

His heart swelling with gratitude that he doesn’t know how to put into a coherent phrase, he kisses her slowly. Significantly shorter than him without her heels on, Amy stands on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around his neck.

 

“Thanks, Ames,” he manages to say afterwards. “Seriously, thank you for everything.”

 

“Of course, Jake, always,” she says casually and without a beat, like the word _always_ is a natural one to throw around in a relationship this new. Maybe, just maybe, they might be on the same page about this whole thing. “Oh, I almost forgot.”

 

She runs across the room to her purse and returns with a tiny sticker, which she places on his shirt under his jacket. Jake lets out his first genuine laugh in days as he glances down at the sticker, a cute little cartoon of a sun with the word “super”.

 

“Ames, what’s this?”

 

“It’s for getting out of bed,” she says with a smile.

 

“Is this one of the stickers you give to your nephews when you help them with their math homework?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

Jake leans down to kiss her again. It’s one of those moments that are becoming increasingly more common in which he’s absolutely certain of his feelings. He thinks he’s known, at least on some subconscious level, that he’s loved her for a long time. This just happens to be the first time he fully admits it to himself.

 

He’s considering blurting it out right away, but his mind flashes back to a night not that long ago: the look on Sophia’s face as she said she didn’t “accidentally love him back”, the way the words made his heart feel like it was shattering. Not only for the loss of one of his first real, adult relationships, but because it was the final nail in the coffin that was his relationship with the idea of love in itself.

 

His dad left his mom. Sophia left him. If love couldn’t prevent any of that from happening, how could it stop him from losing Amy?

 

He has to wait until he’s absolutely sure that it’s mutual. He thinks he can see it sometimes - there’s a sparkle in her eye that often appears when he makes her laugh or when he says something surprisingly sincere and affectionate, and it gives him hope. Maybe someday in the near future, she’ll tell him how she feels and he’ll finally have the courage to say it back. Until then, he’ll wait.

 

After so long in the dark, he simply can’t afford to lose his light.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please leave thoughts below or talk to me/send requests to my tumblr alljustrunaways!


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